its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
