sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Damn victory sex feels great
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
