I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
