thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
