I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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