Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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