He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
