If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
