I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
