her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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