The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
