I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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