new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
