Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
