1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
