This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love you. Go after that dick
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
