i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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