i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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