We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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