nut hugger
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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