she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
