i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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