I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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