What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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