My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
