Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
