ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
