Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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