dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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