I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
