I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
