Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
