they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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