is your mom at the bar?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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