Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
