If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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