THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
