I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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