i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
