They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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