Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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