That's when you crack a 10am beer
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
