I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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