One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
