I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
