Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
