Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
