There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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