it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
