Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
