You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
