About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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