Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
