can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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