wake up i wanna do it froggy style
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
