You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
